Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Jus sad........

Something happened which has left me feeling that I've lost something precious which no matter what I do, I cannot get. Its an empty feeling which u feel when u try ur best, but still come last in a race, though, u were sure b4 d race started and also during the race that u would win it n u so so wanted to win this race. :( :( :(
There is no 1 I can blame either.The only option life has given me is to get over it.

So, thought of writing how I am working on overcoming it

First, is to accept that you lost. Very difficult! Next step is to let go and move on n realize that this race was not the end of life and that there are more races to comes which you will win. Its difficult because you put ur best for this race and so you really do not know what more you can do to win the next one. Faith is the only one that can get u going.

I'm listening 2 sad songs.. they help me come back up faster.....
D more I feel d pain, d more it subsides...... I have no clue how it works for others.......

U know I have list of sad songs..... each 1 reminds me of a time when I was very sad...... I mean each sad song has a relevance.... they were d hit sad song of the time when I was sad and so I kept on listening to it till I couldn't listen anymore :)

Its like u go down so much that U can't go down any further and then the only way is up and so you recover.

D other thing that happens 2 me when I am terribly upset and or shocked is I fall sick... then, I am forced to concentrate on recovering n I recover from my sadness too...... I realize that I'v been jus letting my self fall too much and I should rise......
Or sometimes, I keep crying for days on end(crying is only in the morning and at night btw.. Can't stop going 2 work!) till I can't cry any longer...... I mean it gets tiring... all d crying...... then, I recover.....

Essentially, I stay in the state of melancholy, till I get so bored of it that I need to pull myself up. It helps that I get bored very fast :)

Indulging in what I like, like dancing, pottery, drawing, singing all to myself,watching a senti movie in which I cry at d drop of a hat.... also help... jus let-out for my pent-up emotions helps. Doing something well, like cooking a good meal or helping some1 works wonders too :)
Going on along drive with good music playing always works.. of course, u need a gr8 friend to drive u around... I hate driving.. so..... :)
Doing something new with a good friend.. like trying out a new restaurant or shopping at a grocery store helps. Grocery store is imp.... Shopping 4 clothes is an absolute no-no.... it depresses me even more.... if I like a top which does not fit well...... thats like a meteor hitting earth already terrorized by dinosaurs.... :)
Very girlie , I know...
Also meditating, concentrating on my breadth and telling myself, "Aaall is well! " :) It works.. do try it.... d time u spend with yourself is like an investment which gives huge returns in terms of your personality development. Do you realize that you are the only person who loves yourself unconditionally n always wants happiness for yourself all the time no matter what? Of course, your mother is the other person. U r an all-time project for yourself that you have full control over and that you can do wonders with and do the best job in the world with. So, make what you want with it and amaze the world.... :)

Not sure, which one will work this time or if I'll discover a new way to fight sadness....
All I am sure is that I am a survivor and I will come out of this pit n come out stronger :) and be on the kill again n probably win d next race....
All that we all need is hope, I guess....
I can add writing blog to my list as this is proving therapeutic :)
Life always has gr8 things to give us as long as we are not tightly closing our fist holding on to the past, but stretching our hands to touch the future :)

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