Half an hour slot of TV viewing at home is all I get for working for a whole day :) I watch my fav sitcom BBT(Big Bang Theory). Then , in the name of family bonding, I have to go through half an hour to 1 hour of excruciating Indian melodrama. In the name of the "so called" Indian values, sagas are created on how people's banal mistakes can make for really high TRP.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali(SLB), with SaraswatiChandra(SC), his latest outing on Indian TV, has proven yet again that he probably had bad Gf issues.
Most of his dramas are based on unrequited love which go on for endless hours. If the protagonists had the courage to do the right thing at the right time, those would have made for half an hour to max 1 hour of on air time. Something more productive and intellectually enlightening "could" have occupied the Indian mind space. But, alas, we people love to see what chaos one mistake followed by another, followed by yet another can create. Those mistakes are seen as "protecting" the Indian misplaced values and not as the lack of courage, that it really is. We don't like bland food in India. You have to spice it up! :) Now, that I am a grown-up, I can see through this nonsense. But, it might be leading a lot of younger ppl in the wrong direction. I do understand that we need to see dramatization of human mistakes to feel good abt our boring lives at times. But, don't we also need a dose of realism or atleast the right thing to do as well.
Such crass stuff is indeed a part of the Indian subcontinent's staple EQ(Emotional Quotient) diet. Hence, I strongly believe we should add some good stuff as well . There should be episodes after completion on what the story would have been if courage was shown by the protagonist at the right time. That ways, the Indian audience has been given some nutritious food along with the junk. In case of SC , it can be done very simply as follows: Kumudh and SaraswatiChandra fall in love and then he leaves her on the day of marriage. Kumudh is awfully hurt, but decides to start working again. She starts doing well and waits to fall in love with the right man. She fights back. She does not wimp out by marrying some unknown guy to save her family 'izzat'. She does not make a mess out of everyone's life including hers. Then, a handsome loving man falls for her, who is not emotionally unstable like SaraswatiChandra. And.. they live happily ever after :)
Serials like SaraswatiChandra should really come with a statutory warning "Please do not try this at home. This could take your life away". Quite Literally.... :)
Kumudh is made to look prettiest in her Latest collection net sarees and picture-perfect make-up and highly-trained figure. How can a woman who's suffering from loss of her love and suffering from her alcoholic hubby and crying alteast a bucket-load of water everyday look like that..? Ah.. I suppose even the Indian audience does not fall for the drama and watches the serial just to see what's the latest on the fashion scene..... Atleast, I can hope so :)
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| Found from google search with the term "moving on" |
Anyways, what I wanted to talk about was how after pining for her ex's love for a long time after their break-up, a babe I know discovered how misplaced it was. She requested him multiple times to give their relationship a chance only to be denied. What helped her was asking herself this Q after multiple rejections after their break-up. Can she wait for him forever not knowing if he'll ever reciprocate it ? It looked like that she was clearly not even on his mind frame right now, let alone the heart. Hence, sharing her journey through heart-break in her words. I was impressed by her because she did not overcome the pain by replacing it by anger for the guy, which so many of us do.
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Break-up maybe because of circumstances or mutual disagreements between the couple, which cannot be worked out. The primary step must be to try all you can while keeping your self-respect, to get back your love. If you fail, then, you *MUST* move on.
People glorify hankering for unrequited love. But, I feel that hankering for too long is giving in to the pity feeling of not getting what you want and not really love. Love is like network protocol between 2 hearts and it needs both the hearts to transmit and receive for it to flow. If one is not, the protocol cannot function. It needs two people who feel similar for it to be love. Else, it is just an obsession or a slavery to someone else's qualities. One can feel love like we do for our near and dear ones, which does not pine for the other person's attention. In contrast, pining for unrequited love is really an inner weakness that one is misplacing as love. Pretty much like SLB shielding Kumudh's lack of courage as her values [Neha - Yeah, we bonded over how silly the series SC is :)]. It takes courage to see that weakness in oneself and overcome it. Once its done, its an awakening and freeing moment.
Your ex would change from the person who would be worried if it
rained wondering if you have an umbrella to a person who might not even
want to check how you are despite knowing you are unwell. As much as it
might hurt, its great because it tells you with a finality that the connect
is no more from one end. So, have your intent on moving on very clear and take each
day as it comes with its new clarities and possibilities.It hurts our ego to think that someone did not value us as much as we deserved and then watching such misplaced serials can really lead us to believe that obsessing over lost love is actually a symbol of how great our love is. In reality, moving on is the essence of life. Stagnant and stuck-up is the door to unhappiness and death. Its always " go with the flow " and not " rot with the thought ". Everything flows from energy to Prana Shakti to the air we breathe to planets to the sun and everything in the universe. You can desire true love and it'll come to you. Who said its bound to that person who really does not want to be with you for whatever reason. You care for that person? Sure, help them in whatever way you can, the way you would care for a person who's added happiness to your life like most of your dear friends. Believe me, if you have loved someone dearly, the love will come back to you in a different way. Rest, assured that the love you gave away will make its way back to you. That's a rule of the universe.
But, do let your life flow. Let it bring to you wonderful new people, new experiences, new relationships, new love, who would actually beep back to keep the protocol of love flowing. Yeah, I work for Cisco :) Experience how your happiness is not bound to your ex alone.
You will take time to heal and disconnect from the past. Missing your ex will also be a part of it, so chillax when that happens.
Instead of pining for your ex, focus on yourself so that if you were to meet some person with similar qualities in future, they can also fall for you the way you feel for your ex's. Being true to yourself and loving yourself is the best way to come out winning even if you apparently lost. Have faith. Nothing's the end of life.
I was reading this thing about the lady who's Miss India this time on how she has lost another beauty paegant before Miss India and how she spoke to the judges after the tournament to figure out her shortcomings to be better prepared for the next competition. Being stuck to her loss would not have got her the crown, right? Work hard on other goals in life and come out like a diamond from a coal mine. And importantly, forgive and forget. Most people don't hurt on purpose. Neither has your ex probably.
All the best!
'izzat' - Respect in society
'shraad' - A Hindu ritual to give peace and calm to soul of the departed and request them to leave earth and merge with the supreme power.
Gf - Girlfriend
Prana Shakti - Life-force, also known as Chi in Chinese.
