Decoding a basic human touch

Hug. An ordinary 3 letter word. But, its amazing how this 3 letter word can give you a five letter word - Peace or another 3 letter word -joy . Sometimes this little wonder gives you a word which is yet to be coined, but what feels like "all is well".
 I have fond memories of coming back from a tiring day of work and knowing that just one hug would melt away all of the trials and tribulations of the day. There are all kinds of hugs. The ones from closest to me make me feel that everything is fine, that everything will fall in place, that I'm ready to face challenges again, that I'm loved. Hugging mom makes me realize what unconditional love means. Hugging dad makes me feel the protection that says that I'll stand by you. It reminds me of the toughness that he's made of, that he gave me. Hugging my sister makes me feel that we are there for each other. Hugging my friends makes me feel the warmth of the ppl I adore so much. Hugging my family members makes me feel that I have an awesome and lively family. Hugging buaji makes me feel that niceness that her persona brings and inspires in me.
 There is something abt this gesture that connects hearts and immediately uplifts them. Its a miracle drug that can comfort and enliven at the same time. The hugs being referred to here are the real ones, not the artificial ones we give to all and sundry.

Courtesy: Google

 Its a touch that connects and communicates at a deeper level than meets the eye. You must've experienced when you hug someone or they hug you, how without uttering a word, the person knows what you are feeling or without the other person saying a word, they have comforted you. No wonder that Munnabhai MBBS called it "jaadu ki jhappi".

 Love, passion, care, concern, submission, longingness, comfort, warmth, indifference and many more emotions can be communicated by this wonder of human touch. It must be having to do with the close proximity in which our hearts come together when we hug.

 It's actually beyond words because its all abt how you feel. It's the true human connection. It is the most natural form of emotional conduct seen in all animals.

Being in touch with one's emotions and of others around is the secret to well-being.
 Are you talking to your loves enough without actually talking? If not, then up your emotional connect with this magical touch.

Courtesy : Google

Moving on.....

 Half an hour slot of TV viewing at home is all I get for working for a whole day :) I watch my fav sitcom BBT(Big Bang Theory). Then , in the name of family bonding, I have to go through half an hour to 1 hour of excruciating Indian melodrama. In the name of the "so called" Indian values, sagas are created on how people's banal mistakes can make for really high TRP.
Sanjay Leela Bhansali(SLB),  with SaraswatiChandra(SC), his latest outing on Indian TV, has proven yet again that he probably had bad Gf issues.

Most of his dramas are based on unrequited love which go on for endless hours. If the protagonists had the courage to do the right thing at the right time, those would have made for half an hour to max 1 hour of on air time. Something more productive and intellectually enlightening "could" have occupied the Indian mind space. But, alas, we people love to see what chaos one mistake followed by another, followed by yet another can create.  Those mistakes are seen as "protecting" the Indian misplaced values and not as the lack of courage, that it really is. We don't like bland food in India. You have to spice it up! :) Now, that I am a grown-up, I can see through this nonsense. But, it might be leading a lot of younger ppl in the wrong direction. I do understand that we need to see dramatization of human mistakes to feel good abt our boring lives at times. But, don't we also need a dose of realism or atleast the right thing to do as well.


 Such crass stuff is indeed a part of the Indian subcontinent's staple EQ(Emotional Quotient) diet. Hence, I strongly believe we should add some good stuff as well . There should be episodes after completion on what the story would have been if courage was shown by the protagonist at the right time. That ways, the Indian audience has been given some nutritious food along with the junk. In case of SC , it can be done very simply as follows: Kumudh and SaraswatiChandra fall in love and then he leaves her on the day of marriage. Kumudh is awfully hurt, but decides to start working again. She starts doing well and waits to fall in love with the right man. She fights back. She does not wimp out by marrying some unknown guy to save her family 'izzat'. She does not make a mess out of everyone's life including hers. Then, a handsome loving man falls for her, who is not emotionally unstable like SaraswatiChandra. And.. they live happily ever after :)

Serials like SaraswatiChandra should really come with a statutory warning "Please do not try this at home. This could take your life away". Quite Literally.... :)


Kumudh is made to look prettiest in her Latest collection net sarees and picture-perfect make-up and highly-trained figure. How can a woman who's suffering from loss of her love and suffering from her alcoholic hubby and crying alteast a bucket-load of water everyday look like that..? Ah.. I suppose even the Indian audience does not fall for the drama and watches the serial just to see what's the latest on the fashion scene..... Atleast, I can hope so :)

Found from google search with the term "moving on"

 Anyways, what I wanted to talk about was how after pining for her ex's love for a long time after their break-up, a babe I know discovered how misplaced it was. She requested him multiple times to give their relationship a chance only to be denied. What helped her was asking herself this Q after multiple rejections after their break-up. Can she wait for him forever not knowing if he'll ever reciprocate it ? It looked like that she was clearly not even on his mind frame right now, let alone the heart. Hence, sharing her journey through heart-break in her words. I was impressed by her because she did not overcome the pain by replacing it by anger for the guy, which so many of us do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
 Break-up maybe because of circumstances or mutual disagreements between the couple, which cannot be worked out. The primary step must be to try all you can while keeping your self-respect, to get back your love. If you fail, then, you *MUST* move on.


People glorify hankering for unrequited love. But, I feel that hankering for too long  is giving in to the pity feeling of not getting what you want and not  really love. Love is like network protocol between 2 hearts and it needs both the hearts to transmit and receive for it to flow. If one is not, the protocol cannot function. It needs two people who feel similar for it to be love. Else, it is just an obsession or a slavery to someone else's qualities. One can feel love like we do for our near and dear ones, which does not pine for the other person's attention. In contrast, pining for unrequited love is really an inner weakness that one is misplacing as love. Pretty much like SLB shielding Kumudh's lack of courage as her values [Neha - Yeah, we bonded over how silly the series SC is :)]. It takes courage to see that weakness in oneself and overcome it. Once its done, its an awakening and freeing moment.

 We always want that unbreakable connection with someone special forever. And if we find someone even close to that, we want to stick to it for life. When we break up with such a person, we want to keep the connection alive no matter what. But, a connection is already lost when one person falls out of it. No point holding on to the broken connect hoping for a re-connection after you've tried.

Your ex  would change from the person who would be worried if it rained wondering if you have an umbrella to a person who might not even want to check how you are despite knowing you are unwell. As much as it might hurt, its great because it tells you with a finality that the connect is no more from one end. So, have your intent on moving on very clear and take each day as it comes with its new clarities and possibilities.

It hurts our ego to think that someone did not value us as much as we deserved and then watching such misplaced serials can really lead us to believe that obsessing over lost love is actually a symbol of how great our love is.  In reality, moving on is the essence of life. Stagnant and stuck-up is the door to unhappiness and death. Its always " go with the flow " and not " rot with the thought ". Everything flows from energy to Prana Shakti to the air we breathe to planets to the sun and everything in the universe. You can desire true love and it'll come to you. Who said its bound to that person who really does not want to be with you for whatever reason. You care for that person? Sure, help them in whatever way you can, the way you would care for a person who's added happiness to your life like most of your dear friends. Believe me, if you have loved someone dearly, the love will come back to you in a different way. Rest, assured that the love you gave away will make its way back to you. That's a rule of the universe.




 But, do let your life flow. Let it bring to you wonderful new people, new experiences, new relationships, new love, who would actually beep back to keep the protocol of love flowing. Yeah, I work for Cisco :) Experience how your happiness is not bound to your ex alone.

You will take time to heal and disconnect from the past. Missing your ex will also be a part of it, so chillax when that happens.


Instead of pining for your ex, focus on yourself so that if you were to meet some person with similar qualities in future, they can also fall for you the way you feel for your ex's. Being true to yourself and loving yourself is the best way to come out winning even if you apparently lost. Have faith. Nothing's the end of life.

   I was reading this thing about the lady who's Miss India this time on how she has lost another beauty paegant before Miss India and how she spoke to the judges after the tournament to figure out her shortcomings to be better prepared for the next competition. Being stuck to her loss would not have got her the crown, right? Work hard on other goals in life and come out like a diamond from a coal mine. And importantly, forgive and forget. Most people don't hurt on purpose. Neither has your ex probably.


All the best!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
 'izzat' - Respect in society
 'shraad' -  A Hindu ritual to give peace and calm to soul of the departed and request them to leave earth and merge with the supreme power.
  Gf - Girlfriend
Prana Shakti - Life-force, also known as Chi in Chinese.

Our strange connect with non-living things

 It's been months that I have been running after someone and pining for one positive gesture from the other person, inspite of the person having told me a clear No. A little shameless on my part, I suppose. I had gone so crazy that I would close my eyes and see that person. I knew that something was wrong somewhere, but if I feel that way, I can't force myself out of it till I actually feel different.
Yesterday, it suddenly occurred to me that by my binding that person so much to my thoughts and desires, not only was I binding myself, I was in a way binding the other person too. That was an eye-opener. I would never want to bind the person I really truly love against his wishes. It ceases to be love that very moment that you try to bind. My feelings changed and I could let go. Aah! I feel so free now and that feeling that I was doing something wrong is so gone.

Oh! I forgot to explain the "not only was I binding myself, I was in a way binding the other person too". Do you believe in telepathy? If not,then, really no point in reading further. For those who do, I believe that if you really love someone and keep the person always in your thoughts and feelings, you are drawing that person to you because of the power your love and feelings hold. That's the concept behind attracting anything that you want or do not want to yourself. Haven't you ever experienced that something that was constantly in your thoughts actually coming to you or happening to you? I'm sure you must have coz it happens to everybody.
So, the point is, its ok that you attract a thing/experience to you, but its not good if you do that with a specific person, because you might be affecting the person in a way that he/she does not want. If they did, they would have anyways come to you without you having them in your thoughts. Its ok to desire love, but not that specific person against that person's desires.

Hmmmmm... I have not yet written abt the main topic of this blog. :) So, after I felt free, I decided to take my bike(gearless Scooter) for a ride after 2 years of not having used it. I call her Dhanni and I have an amazing connect with her. She has always symbolized freedom for me from the first time I bought her. I used to talk to her all the time while riding. I hope I'm not sounding like a psycho :)

Picked this image from google pictures. No clue what is pxleyes.com and I do not endorse it either :)

It was amazing how it was so easy to reconnect. Her electric start has ceased to work for now, but it was amazing how easily she started in the cold season with kick start. And I felt so good to be back in touch with my old friend. You know, the first time I met with an accident with Dhanni, I had cuts on my hand and stomach and there was some blood too. I remember I started crying and my colleague didn't know what to do and stupidly asked me why I was crying. I told him I felt very bad that Dhanni was hurt(Her brake handle broke and had scratches at multiple places). He couldn't stop laughing for 2 minutes.

Its a different feeling when you feel the wind while on the bike and you know its just two of you. The manouvers that you do are as one entity. The traffic that you go through, the accidents(small ones); all are as one. Its like sharing joy and sorrow and experiences. In Avatar(the movie), the connect with the dragon made so much sense. When you are on it, you do function as one and as much as I'd love to have a living being as my ride, for city life, my non-living Dhanni does feel alive :)

I have a friend who calls his car 'his wife', sometimes to the disappointment of his Gfs :) But, I've had the priviledge to have driven his car and I agree with his fondness for his car. One hell of a smooth drive. I think his love for his car makes it so.

 Anyways, like the Jockey Ad, "Unconditional Love or nothing". If you love your vehicle, you do get unconditional love from it. Go give you vehicle some love :)